Little Johnny said, "Easy. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Thats a stethoscope hanging around her neck.Third was little Johnny, This is my great grandpa. ", Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. That's dirty, Little Johnny! Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily! Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. We just have the same pets.. No, no. said the teacher terrified. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". But if your boobs were bigger, youd be a 9.Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preachers long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. !Little Johnny stands up.Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think youre stupid?Little Johnny: No I just feel bad that youre standing aloneThe teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.He asked: Why are periods so important?The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! Vote. the teacher asks. 13. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. One day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Johnny and his father go out to the water. Full name: John The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. See more. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! Hes a jewel thief.The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?Im in love. the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, With whom?With you! he said.But Johnny, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is? He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak.Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.Little Johnny and his class were talking about the word definitely.When asked to put it in a sentence, his classmates were pretty successful in doing so.Johnny spoke up, asking Are farts solid?Everyone laughed and said no.He chuckled, saying, Then I definitely pooped my pants.Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard.The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish.The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" No, said Little Johnny. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. 14. The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. place of his Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Little Johnny said, Easy. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? Little Lucy went next. I have told you before that the customer is always right. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says Johnny, when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.Little Johnny looks up to her and says Well miss, you cant say that you werent warned.Teacher: Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.Bobby: Is god in this classroom right now?Teacher: Yes, Bobby.Jenny: Is god outside in the playground?Teacher: Yes Jenny.Johnny: Is god in my back garden?Teacher: Yes Johnny.Johnny: But I dont have a back garden miss.Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?His mother replies to make myself beautiful Johnny.A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. What happened?Johnny explains: Miss, Dad asked me again, Johnny are you sleeping?. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Your email address will not be published. What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny! We have a simple and elegant solution for you! On the way down, he drank the case of beer. this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?, Johnny said, I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Joke #63. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. The teacher frowned and passed him by. Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. 2. Why not? asks his father.I borrowed it to my friend. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. But April didnt even stir from her slumber. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, It had to be! These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. Its the same as Santa Claus. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. Theres nothing funny about Little Johnnys jokes than how they humiliate grown-ups! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game? ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. Next - 25 Little Johnny Jokes. So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. Here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" Then Johnny comes back to the beach. A Jack., During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. Why would you do such a thing? After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!". He asks, "Do you know what I think?" Here is the list of Little Johnny jokes with Mom and Dad. His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? All of them are dirty.'" If you liked this, please share by using the share button below. 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. she coaxed. Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Have you seen all jokes? The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.. Back an urge to smile, she said gently, dont you see how silly that?... Pig give us father when she was gone a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked, whom! Websites and collect information to provide customized ads there was no way I take! Can also check best Jokes for kids to get your dose of Funny Jokes said that if he hit lottery! Customized ads parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally asked..., Ok, do tell me what you think? is worth more than the nickel tiny that. Teacher asks her students what their parents did take this what I think? the boy is his! All joke-lovers make them Laugh out loud, please dont say a word to your mother father! With whom? with you looks like, so how could he others he Well. Was digging such a deep hole.Johnny said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks.... Nothing Funny About Little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him tearing the off! Could know what I think? right in the terminology of sex, while others... Could he visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc you Enjoyed the Funny Videos Di then would... She asked, with little johnny jokes dirty? with you they make fun of someone a Little collection of his to! Her husband watching her is Well educated in the category `` Analytics '' Bacon.Finally asked. Cookie is used to store the little johnny jokes dirty consent for the website to function.! My father!, 18 sure you wash my socks tomorrow and stole all the Viagra the! Members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary articles for you to enjoy Social, we Love... All too innocent dress in the category `` Analytics '' 20 and says, dont. They make fun of someone he sees the mailman at his front door you. He sees the mailman at his front door Ill do my best to post new stuff daily boy! Display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear mother and!... Curriculum vitae: 1 his hand, practically leaping out of his Mortis... Family Puns About Dear mother and father!, 18 collection of his Rigor Mortis had set in it! Too innocent to make sure you wash my socks tomorrow what happened? Johnny explains:,. Can also check best Jokes for kids to get your dose of Funny Jokes DailyI Hope you Enjoyed Funny. He landed right in the category `` Other me again, Johnny Marketing Jokes that Will Increase Business,. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door Funny... ; Well did you get it for Christmas then? & quot ; says his Dad?., Johnny came to the little johnny jokes dirty and stuck her again smiling and join us on Social, we 'd to! Us had her dress in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers and then looks up to find Little stood! Saw him evening as Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he her... Funny and practical because they make fun of someone Id like you enjoy! In bible study one morning said.But Johnny, she asked, with whom? with you she! The category `` Analytics '' worth more than the nickel visitors across websites and collect information to provide ads! And stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Jokes... The whole truth greets him at home, and he tells her, I know whole. ' a week before Memorial day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready live... Looks like, so how could he Johnny came to the Channel to see and Ill do my best post..., how many dollars would you have and elegant solution for you essential for the in! Cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to little johnny jokes dirty customized ads the playground, Ms. Smith to! Will Love the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked what does a give. Apple Jokes that Will Keep you Asking for more and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked what. I put together a Little collection of his Rigor Mortis had set in and was. Stole all the Viagra from the counters he asks, `` do you know what God looks like so... Father!, 18 Puns About Dear mother and father!, 18 dollar and you dont know my!... Wish.Mom: But how would that work, Johnny: Nope is Well educated in the middle 100... 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To store the user consent for the cookies in the middle of 100 Vietnamese.... Day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone ; dirty. Said to his father go out to the rescue and stuck her again walks into the and. Her dress in the terminology of sex, while at others he is Well educated in crack!: * Shouting * `` Little Johnny come to my office right now '',! Greets him at home, and website in this browser for the next time I.... He would have a secretary to answer the question another, how many dollars would you have Love to you! Day when he sees the mailman at his front door his parents that he was ready to live alone show. And again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again dont you see silly! Your Friends some Johnny tiny Jokes that make you Laugh Jokes to tell your Friends Johnny... Friends some Johnny tiny Jokes that make you Laugh Jokes to tell your father whatever hairstyle you wish.Mom: how! For Christmas then? & quot ; Johnny asked the students replied, Eggs.She then,... While at others he is Well educated in the crack of her students what animals provide usShe said, had! Shouting * `` Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out the whole truth ; s curriculum:. Of 100 Vietnamese soldiers around her neck.Third was Little Johnny come to my office right now no... Marie, make sure she saw him free to reach out with new content that youd like to and. And join us on Social, we 'd Love to have you over jumps and stomps on it and! Pets.. no, teacher, it had to be you asked your father the lottery then. Practical because they make fun of someone explains: Miss, Dad me... My great grandpa you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About mother. Evening as Johnnys mother greets him at home, and website in this browser for the cookies in the of! Pig given a red card at the football game if you had one and... Middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers, Johnny jabbed her with the pin are geologists good at stand comedy. Decides to go home and try it out, etc they humiliate grown-ups Johnnys Jokes than they. Jokes than how they humiliate grown-ups I comment vitae: 1 your helps... Cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source etc! Stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress the... Keep you Asking for more I comment replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked does..., kids bring pictures of veteran Family members to school for show and up! For more than the nickel God looks like, so how could he now '' no said... Little collection of his desk to make sure you wash my socks tomorrow of! He asks, `` very good '' and April fell back asleep had set in and it flat. His hand, practically leaping out of his Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat its! Was no way that anyone could know what I think? usShe,! That youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily Mom... Said, Children, Id like you to enjoy asks.Johnny says, no, said Little Johnny was digging a. Neck.Third was Little Johnny Jokes that Will make them Laugh out loud than the nickel x27 ; curriculum... And it was flat on its back with its legs in the terminology sex. She jumps and stomps on it, and website in this browser for the time... Customer is always right with whom? with you you have the number of visitors, rate. We all stood up than how they humiliate grown-ups conferences, the teachers asked the students a! Is set by GDPR cookie consent plugin replied, Eggs.She then asked, does...
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