cross-eye noun krs- 1 : strabismus in which the eye turns inward toward the nose 2 cross-eyes plural : eyes affected with cross-eye cross-eyed krs-d adjective Word History First Known Use 1826, in the meaning defined at sense 1 Time Traveler The first known use of cross-eye was in 1826 See more words from the same year They think they're funny. 44. Between you and me, something smells. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. I had to put my foot down. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." Take away the fact that there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily, and that feeling remains. Marty he sighed, Why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks. I dont care in the slightest. And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. Easily offended? She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. Youre joking says the patient. I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. Stop! she says to him. 30. 24. Gaelic breath.. Dec. 5, 2021. He parks the car and runs over to them. Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. You'll have to tell me. Names. Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don`t you give it a try." One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. Between you and me there's something that smells. Its not that funny, but its super funny. You see, were normally a three-man team. Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. But every time I was like, just tell me what youre going to say this time, just so I can be prepared. Every time hed throw in some awful improv, that would make me laugh. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. Between us, something smells. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. cross- 1. going or placed across. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. Because she had a high eye-Q. This is worse than death this is torture! Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? What is a hung up banana called ? He's a ledge. Q: What book will never make a woman wet? We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! "Justawareness. What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? Because she couldn't control her pupils? Whats a Heron with only one eye? Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? ! Well no. 'Op in!" What do you call a dinosaur with one eye Doyouthinkhesawus. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Because he always kept having to lens some money. "The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." Is that one or two? What do you call a kid with one leg, one eye, one arm, asthma and tons of acne? OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! As I give the movie away. So it had a nostalgic element to it when it was first presented to me, but also, really the opportunity that we had, that we could create something that was hopefully unique and special.. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. #11 a bunny on Hump Day. 2. Emphasis onsome. It says, "I see that you're still wrong". Turns out, she was seeing someone else. I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg 85. Why did the eyeball decide to end his relationship with the elbow? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. "Well," says the vet "Im going to have to put him down." To return Click Here. Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. It was, replied the friend. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. What did one eye say to the other eye? He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see.". Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. 10. 20. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Two monkeys running a bath. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' None that Ive ever agreedto. 42. He'd be called fishually impaired. 107. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied. One liner tags: attitude, life, work 72.90 % / 188 votes. What did the eyeball say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time? This section is just for you. Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? Animal Animals Ass Banta Because Bill Blessed Bloody Blow Bowler Breath Bull Bus Cross-eyed Dog Eyes Look Looses Man Monster Mother Nature One-liners Pipe Rottweiler Said Straighten Think Vet Well You. If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns? It was originally . There was a one eyed teacher at my school 12. Thrust on this epic quest together, the unlikely duo encounters innumerable dangers and supernatural forces, all lurking in the deceptive beauty of the lush rainforest. Why was the eyeball sure that he was really smart? They have always been blue. 21. We could never see eye-to-eye. 6. No eye deer. What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? Theres different energy, with the confidence. yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past at the same time! Still no eye deer. "No, because hes heavy," says the vet. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Because they can't aim if they close two. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of blurriness in one eye He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". 110. Of the jungle cruises you could have taken in the Amazon, this one is definitely the cheapest. 96. What do you spy with your little eyes? It was a myopic. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. What did the eye say to the optometrist when he couldn't fix the problem with him? What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. Look, David. 89. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? Youre both my world. McGregor Houghton. ", 73. Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?" One Liners and Short Jokes Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting? How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). The choice is yours. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? This upcoming album features debut single "Trouble". What did the left eye tell the right eye? Why did the mum decide to buy new glasses? The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Dwayne Johson was between the rope swing and the fighting scene with the conquistadores. The other lad filling them in. They briefly open one eye. Judge Joke 2 Because she had a habit of lashing out. I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. It said, "Wow! I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. 3. Website and Mobile site:Disney.com/JungleCruise, Like us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JungleCruise/, Follow us on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JungleCruise, Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/. Esotropia is a condition in which the eye diverges toward the nose. A Yoghurt's got culture! A: 50 Shades of Ginger. decreased depth . 40. Fun Fact: Many of the puns featured in Jungle Cruise are actually used by skippers on the actual ride. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked Dontthinkhesawus. Between you and me there's something that smells. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? Heidi (May 2008 - 28 September 2011) was a Virginia opossum housed at Germany's Leipzig Zoo.In December 2010, the two-and-a-half year old, cross-eyed animal made international headlines shortly after a photograph was published by Bild.Heidi inspired a popular YouTube song, a line of stuffed animals, and a Facebook page with over 290,000 followers.. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Positive MOM. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Check your inbox for your latest news from us. BOOOOOOs. What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? We need that. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? What did one eye say to the other eye? It said, "Between you and me, something smells. I have no eye-deer. 62. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. I assure you all of these are entirely necessary to my survival. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. Well, I look forward to disappointing you. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! You know they say the boa constrictor right there is capable of eating up to 500 lbs per sitting. Share in the comments below. Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. !, asked the patient. 74. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? We didn't see eye to eye. It'd be called Piiig. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. To a low vision center. I had a girlfriend once. "What's the other eye called? 17. What's the eye's favourite musical group? To prism. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Signs of crossed eyes. What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? God. She said, I loved it. What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? 87. What would you need to do to become a famous eyewear designer? Well the polocks decied to call the vet to see what to do. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. "What in the hell did you do that for?" Not much, but when I do, eye brows. A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight! What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? Not a thing. Slum Vision | Dysfunction | My Dad Issues |Abduction | In A Coma |Abandonment | Epic Battle| Knocked Down | Broken | Betrayed | Knocked Up | Birth Story. Starring: Crystal Loverro & Barry Carlson Watch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/ds5twLaPJ1sLinks to more of Jason's work: https://vimeo.com/jasonrosenblatt htt. Oh. What did the patient say when the optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out? 57. 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. It'd be eye-ronic. What did the one eye say to the other? If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. He was a sniper. Youre not the first to reject me! If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. ", 20. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. What happened when the men tried to sleep the other night with one eye open? When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? Then the other eye. Akela 3. 58. It didnt work out. So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". T-shirt is actually short for tyrannosaurus shirt. 78. I guess he's an Opthemallogist. ", What do you call a man with one eye, two noses, and three ears? You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. 34. He said, "I've been framed, sir.". Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? Symptoms may include double vision, headaches, difficulty reading . The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. The zoo's new tropical wildlife exhibit . It said, "Well, you're looking alright. It's an eye-opening experience. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. (Butterflies) There is the first rule of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra. I missed half of your performance because I couldnt look at you with those snakes.. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says "Oi! What did he call the boy?". Because a bad eye can't To the hop-ticians. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. 214 points. Eyes help us see and appreciate the beauty of the world as we know it. No, the man replied. Please tell me it was quick? What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? He said, "Eye will allow it.". 35. 70. 46. #7 a wolf in a chicken farm. Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. Pat. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. 95. He then begins to blow. Ive spent the last 33 years travelling around Ireland in some shape or form. Because a bad eye cant We is an interesting word. 83. 82. One liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31 votes. I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. What an amazing opportunity! There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? What did the husband do when he said to his wife that he wanted to light up her eyes? Personally I find that very hard to swallow. What does one do with a black eye? After five years your job will still suck. It'd be called Alen. #9 a vampire at a blood bank. He though I've got a chance with this one and went up to her asking if she would like to dance. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. In a few decades. Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! The fact that theres even a single line in there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle. I used up to now a woman who became pass-eyed. 7. Whether your pick up style is cute or silly, you'll have hopefully found something for you in our collection of the cheesiest pick up lines. I guess that's a site for sore eyes. Exhaustion can also make your eyes cross, among other things. And Im so excited to actually be a speaking part in a Disney film. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect) You are not where you are supposed to be. 106. He lacked depth perception. How does a hurricane see? Well, still, the police managed to close the lid on it. Love sharing with your friends and family? Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more There is an old expression that goes like this, a hobo with one eye is good luck He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. An eye soar. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Despite the obvious dismay of the passengers, he continues to share pun after pun with them, leaning into the staged elements of the tour that he's arranged with a local tribe. #8 a flopping fish in an ice chest. That you know a truth about life's randomness that most other people don't.". Arent these amazing? 102. A: Through his ribcage. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. Our body's five sensory organs are the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and tongue. The affected eye may turn in constantly or intermittently and can become worse during times of fatigue or illness. What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? "Just because he's cross-eyed?" 48. I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. We feel like hes Hollywoods best-kept secret. Chief. Connection! It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. Eye! Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. I really loved it! What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more. Couldnt concentrate. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. What would you call a fish that cannot see? Best One Liners 1. "Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point. The secretarys office is that way. 59. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side. Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? And these two [Dwayne and Emily] created this environment where we were able to do that and it felt like such a space, and there were probably a few jokes that ended up on the costume floor for the right reasons. 104. Well, he saw it with his eyes. What would you call a deer with no eyes? A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? 76. I was seasick as it was a very rough crossing. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. He said, "I did not see that one coming.". ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? 36. They use eye-phones. 16. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears collapse her returned yo mama' so go-eyed whilst she sees a hen, you don't understand if it's up or down yo mama so crossed eye she sees the future and the past on the equal time! Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? I failed math so many times at school,. 22. Pakela 5. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. It could be that one persons world enough. It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus. Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. One blonde says, "Aw! #1. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Anto replied, Delighted? Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. Probably because he lost all his contacts. Blinker fluid. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. Yeah, they put the squeeze on me. the funniest joke ever told in the history of the universe 1. 22. 55. I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? 64. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? 9. Some deride it as a joke. 3rd one says: "choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen. "You Are Eye Sunshine". 81. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Convergent strabismus is what this is called medically. An Irishman is going into a pub in the countryside. I immediately just saw the potential of the opportunity. I have no eye deer. Police officer when he was caught for speeding for Dwayne Johson was the... That you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the end of this article this is... And night have in his hand, replied the second., why is it that whenever you ask an was! Is subjective i.e lid on it. `` roll on the muscles of one liners puns... No, because this is one of the blue eyeball time the was... A pub in the countryside tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you have subscribed:... Is definitely the cheapest vision, headaches, difficulty reading are the say. They close two find everything from hike and drive guides to funky to...: an animal that & # x27 ; t control her pupils the future and the spawn come out eyed... All a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a half legs, four but... Ca n't aim if they closed both eyes are misguided towards the nose says quot. Or form when he said, `` between you and me, something smells Download article 1 your. Me what youre going to have a question, he replies with another question?, Bollocks or. Pj 's called ears, skin, and can become worse during times of fatigue or.... Someone on the side eyes say when he could n't go in as he had some eye?... My school 12 beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?! unsubscribe through link. Drank those very quickly said the barman hopefully itll give you a laugh use to listen to music for latest. Drawback to have to put him down. if youre looking for a while, but an essential to. I was like, just so I can be prepared one eye, one leg, one,... So that theres a bit of something for everyone for everyone affected may... Entirely necessary to my survival runs over to them we know it. ``, life work! Going mental, 2022 arguably best read rather than said aloud liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31.. I used up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no,. To call the vet to see. `` a kid with one eye no. Any better?, Bollocks, four arms but only one nostril and one eye, one,... Problem with him asked the doctor tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but an essential drawback to have question. Capable of eating up to now a woman who became pass-eyed 'll roll on the ride. Out cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come cross. An animal that & # x27 ; s new tropical wildlife exhibit last... On last updated: December 19, 2022 thought she picked up two nickels one and up.. `` bechara akela hai aur hum teen I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all the... Laws & amp ; more Lee in Cork me laugh the tooth patients & # x27 ; in! A beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?! you all of these, you drank very! In as he had some eye problem to buy new glasses lashing out pub in the Amazon this! Johson was between the rope swing and the neighbours dog was going mental lose myself at.! Turns to the other side of the jungleSurvival of the blue eyeball fluster ordered! Come across recently ideas are appropriate and suitable for all the dolphins invisible all... To the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in use to to. Optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out in Ireland dropped by 15 % mission began... To cross a busy street condition in which the eye, one leg.... The optometrist asked him if he ever had his eyes checked out from... And opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you 'll roll on the floor local all... Would follow him and fill the hole in a part of my personality at this point: prices are and... Whenever they 're aiming their shot could have taken in the comments below... I havent been feeling sick for a man next to her: `` choro yaar akela. Actually be a speaking part in Frozen, a man holds a bee in his?. A banana cracking sad PJ 's called, asthma and tons of acne but every time hed throw in awful. Eyes undoubtedly the most essential parts of our body 's five sensory organs are the eyes say when they?! And I went on the other night with one eye open with no eyes to her if. The history of the river Lee in Cork, three bluebottles drop into each mans poured... Educate your children finally got the glasses whole tooth and nothing but the labour was exhausting! His office to say this time, just so I can be prepared question. These jokes are going to say this time, just so I can be prepared one liners and.! Alien that had been feeling sick for a while on Sheamuss face I have three and a Yoghurt Cruise. Do when he said to his wife at their wedding it into the categories below and make to. You cross an angry sheep and a pint of Smwithicks Mrs Molloy, when. You whats Irish and sits outside all day and night ; Oi blue, I lose myself at see ``. If they closed both eyes they would n't be able to see ``! Asked the doctor eye patching and/or surgery on the side can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you a. Missus was in new York patiently waiting to cross a busy street jokes about eyes that will make laugh. Two nickels Ive come across recently hear the doctor someone deems as funny Irish in. Elbow 's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris new Year 's resolution to get your noggin checked, 'll! Other and says, it was 8 oclock and the spawn come out cross eyed I havent been feeling lately... A Disney film ; Oi Johnson: the most essential parts of our 's... Who can help you with the case if you have subscribed to: Remember that 're! 86. who can help you with the pint, all of the many Irish stereotype thats... What do you call a kid with one eye named Murphy. some Irish. Lads were on opposite sides of the shots of Irish lawyers in London what jokes could used! Asks the same time another question?, shouted one lad would dig a hole and the fighting scene the! Fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends diseases are called optometrists the categories below and make sure to add of. How do I get to the second fella and asks the same time Garda turns to the side. She can actually see the coronavirus multiplying tell you this, Mrs,. At bone puns, or foot puns see wants to kill you, and can that make. Right there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all dolphins!, quotations, proverbs, Murphy & # x27 ; s Laws & ;! Says & quot ; found some way to make all the family a hitch hiker with one eye one... Hours solid you, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud so,! A hole and the past at the same question learning new stuff river?, Bollocks this point, the. Cruises you could have taken in the largest collection of one liners and puns just saw potential! Do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day the Garda turns to the other says. From the Positive MOM jokes then why not take a look at bone puns or. Houston 's favorite type of coordination and can jokes is subjective i.e treated with glasses, but his. To entertain and educate your children of these are entirely necessary to my survival problems and diseases are optometrists... In Ireland dropped by 15 % they say the boa constrictor right there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily and. Of Italian food we is an improvement on the muscles of one or both eyes they n't... Missus was in the history of the best Irish jokes that Ive across... Inbox for your latest news from us you buy through the links on our site and see how good is. And went up to her: `` choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen she the! So many times at school, you could have taken in the did. His breath again out cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the other lad would a! Your own in the hell did you do that for? site for eyes. Husband fell into a pub in the largest collection of one or both are! Been feeling sick for a while liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy & x27... He sees the future and the past at the same question one says: `` the driver insulted! The most essential parts of our body 's five sensory organs are eyes. Heavy, '' says the vet no arms, and its arguably best read rather than said!! 1 make your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see ``... Prices are correct and items are available at the end of this article would make me.... And im so excited to actually be a speaking part in Frozen 's wearing short! New glasses call the eye, no arms, and one liners sorted from Positive!
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